


Afternoon Delight

by Amarokster



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Consensual Non-Consent, Fantasizing, M/M, Poison, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sexual Fantasy, ferdie loves a villain, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarokster/pseuds/Amarokster
Summary: Hubert poisons (?) Ferdinand.A quick drabble for Day 2 of Ferdibert Week 2020!
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73
Collections: Ferdibert Week 2020





	Afternoon Delight

Hubert and Ferdinand had been drinking their respective coffee and tea in a companionable silence for some time this afternoon, and the quiet sounds of rustling paperwork and pen and ink set to paper served as a comforting backdrop while they worked their way through the day’s agenda. 

However, Hubert soon picked up a new sound added to the mix: the unmistakable rhythmic tapping of Ferdinand’s boots upon the tiled floor of his study, a slow cadence quickly ramping up into an anxious, stuttered thumping.

Hubert glanced at Ferdinand’s face and saw that the other man had gone pale, and Ferdinand had his eyes squeezed shut and his teacup gripped tightly in one hand. Hubert made a note of where he was in his paperwork, set his pen down, and cleared his throat to get Ferdinand’s attention.

“Ah, Hubert!” Ferdinand opened his eyes at once and gingerly set his teacup down on its saucer before leaning back with a sigh. “...I am afraid something is terribly amiss.” 

“Oh?” Hubert gave him a placid smile. “And what would that be?”

“This is… This is most unsettling.” Ferdinand sighed again, bringing a gloved hand up to rub at the furrow in his brow. He peered down at his mostly empty cup of tea before looking back at Hubert, but he spoke no more, only staring with great concentration at Hubert’s face. 

Hubert arched a brow and waited for Ferdinand to speak. 

Ferdinand seemed resigned, but he grudgingly continued. “I hate to ask this, but… Hubert, have you poisoned me?”

Hubert barked out a laugh. “When I offered to bring you tea for our meeting, this wasn’t quite the thanks I anticipated. Is this your way of telling me that my skills in brewing tea still leave something to be desired? ”

Ferdinand’s eyes narrowed. “On the contrary, you were quite the quick study once you decided tea was worthy of your attention, weren’t you?” He looked with suspicion down at his cup. “You said this was a bergamot?”

“Yes, and I assure you it’s of the highest quality, my dear.” Hubert let the silence draw out for a moment before following up. “Why do you ask?” 

“Whatever mischief you attempted has _not_ gone unnoticed. The notes of citrus are here, but there is something underneath, something… off. This cloying sweetness, what is it?” His nose scrunched up cutely, quite unbecoming for someone in the position of the Prime Minister. “Please do _not_ tell me you decided I should also start building up a daily tolerance to poison. I have left you to your whims, and Goddess knows any poison you may put in that sludge you drink couldn’t possibly make the flavor any worse, but I greatly prefer my tea untampered.”

“Ferdinand, what would make you believe that you’d ever know if I were to poison you in the first place? Perhaps you’ve already joined my daily regimen without even knowing,”Hubert said smoothly. 

“How charming,” Ferdinand drawled. “Still, do not think you can avoid the issue so easily. You should know that I--” He paused to roll up his sleeves and wipe at his sweaty brow. “I am feeling quite feverish, and I was right as rain before you walked in the door.” 

“Perhaps the heat of the afternoon has gotten to you.” 

“Yet you appear to be fine in full dress uniform.” 

“Perhaps you forgot to eat today and are simply feeling the effects of hunger.”

“I am feeling the effects of _something_ , Hubert. I am quite at my wit’s end, really, just look at me.”

Hubert looked. Ferdinand’s face was flushed, pupils blown wide, and sweat slowly trickled down his cheek to drip down the length of his neck. Strands of hair stuck to his face, and he seemed to be worrying at his bottom lip unconsciously. Hubert liked what he saw but thought it would be best not to comment, so he smoothed things over by replying, “Perhaps you just need to lie down for a bit.”

“Oh, yes, and perhaps you just forgot to inform me that you were going to poison my tea. In broad daylight, even!” Hubert fought the urge to retort that this was implying it would be less scandalous if he were to poison Ferdinand at night, and he observed as Ferdinand stood abruptly, swaying for a moment before bracing himself against the table. “Should I ask you to drink the rest of my tea? No, never mind, I am sure you have already made yourself immune to whatever concoction you decided I must suffer through.” Ferdinand scowled. 

Hubert’s eyes were drawn to Ferdinand’s hands as they trembled against the table, tremors slowly growing into full-bodied shivers. “If you’re feeling unwell, it may be best if we postpone our meeting for another time.”

“Neither you nor I will be going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this!” Ferdinand slammed his hand on the table, cups and plates rattling with a clatter. He let out a raspy breath, chest heaving, and clenched his fist where it rested. “You _have_ poisoned me. You… You fiend.” 

Hubert carefully kept his face as neutral as possible. “Ferdinand, take a seat.” 

Ferdinand did not take a seat. 

Ferdinand did, however, shove his own seat away and then stalk over to Hubert’s to kick his chair legs out from under him, sending Hubert sprawling to the ground with an undignified wheeze. 

“Oh? Is the room spinning for you as well?” Ferdinand snapped and glared down at Hubert. “Then perhaps you are right, and it was no poison at all!”

Hubert stayed where he landed, ignoring the throbbing pain down his spine. Stone floor didn’t exactly work wonders on a back already in poor shape from long hours spent stooped over documents. “I should take my leave until you’re feeling like yourself again.” 

Ferdinand swooped down to straddle his torso, hands pinning Hubert’s arms down at his side. “Oh, I think not.” 

“Ferdinand,” Hubert coaxed. He tried flexing his arms but found them locked in place under Ferdinand’s sweaty grip.

“Here I was enjoying my tea, only to find that you have poisoned me!” Ferdinand began rambling, clearly ignoring Hubert. 

“Ferdi-”

“What a villainous scoundrel! To think that I left myself vulnerable here only for you to take advantage of my good will, and-”

“Ferdi-”

“-so truly no good deed goes unpunished. Did you think to make me beg for an antidote? Press me for all my secrets? Whisk me away to some dungeon while I was incapacitated and-”

“Fer-” 

“-am I to do with myself now, trapped here with such a wicked creature!” 

Hubert rushed to interrupt as Ferdinand paused to take a breath. “ _Ferdinand_ , that was no poison, it-”

“ _Hubert.”_ Ferdinand swiftly clamped one hand over his mouth, and Hubert found himself pinned underneath Ferdinand’s full weight with an unmistakable hardness pressing against him and a blazing but barely-focused gaze drifting to his face. There was no anger to be found in Ferdinand’s eyes, only a burning excitement and hazy lust. 

Hubert stilled, and Ferdinand moved to his knees, nodding slightly to himself. 

“Now if you have finished attempting to interrupt what is shaping up to be an otherwise delightful afternoon, I would suggest you be quiet and start removing clothing. At once.” Ferdinand’s eyes flickered down Hubert’s torso. “If not, I’m afraid I will be forced to bring a reckoning upon your wardrobe from which it may never recover.” 

As Hubert rushed to undo buttons with numb fingers, he couldn’t help but appreciate that he was learning more about the merits of tea every day--although to be accurate, he supposed he was learning more about the merits of tea laced with home-brewed aphrodisiacs. 

Perhaps he’d let Ferdinand brew him a pot next time and return the favor. 

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Ferdinand has all these dumb dark overly dramatic romance novel fantasies that end with "and then the wicked man had his way with me!!" and Hubert is more than happy to make them come true but at a loss when it comes to Ferdie's theatrics. 
> 
> (In case it's not clear, yes, of course Ferdinand knows what's happening and probably even suggested Hubert spike his drink, but he wants to live his best fantasy. Ferdie can have little a drama as a treat.)


End file.
